The Secret Life of a Slummy Mummy – Fiona Neil

The book conjures up really well the experience of being a stay-at-home mum, which is a million miles from the idyll that those on the outside sometimes thing it is. I know, I’m married to one! And it pokes fun at a number of stereotypes that are familiar from the school gates in affluent areas: Alpha mum, the ultimate pushy parent (her male alter-ego runs the PTA at my son’s school); Smug Mother Of Girls, who looks down on parents whose sons aren’t well-behaved and self-contained like her daughters (my wife knew two or three of these, but they all had boys as their second children, after which one commented, “boys are different, aren’t they?”).

However there’s more to the book than just the experience of being a mum. The main character is struggling in her marriage (who wouldn’t, with three boys to look after) and tempted to start an affair. One of her best friends is simultaneously involved in an affair with a married father-of-four. While the story is fun and deliberately so, I thought it dealt with this subject very well. The reasons why each of the characters are drawn into adultery are quite believable, and the inevitable outcome is made very clear.

There’s also a very interesting thread in the story comparing the main character, who gave up a high-powered job to be a stay-at-home mum, with her mum, a proto-feminist who adamantly clung to her position in work. The book makes quite clear that there are no easy answers to this dilemma and that the outcome is always weighted against the woman. On the surface of it, this argument seems week, in that while women face an impossible choice between children and career, most men have that choice made for them; but I’ve done enough game theory to know that choice is not always a good thing. But I digress. On this subject, the book occasionally borders on the preachy, but it never gets heavy. On the positive side, I don’t feel the book comes across and anti-men in any way (something I’m quite sensitive to); a couple of the male characters actually come across quite positively, which I always like to see.

The main character is very well drawn. She’s quite useless and disorganized, but you can see why; it’s quite believable that she used to be brilliant in a different role, but as a mum, she’s a square peg in a round hole. However stupidly she behaves, I still manage to feel sympathetic towards her.

Ultimately the book descends into farce, which is always a good way to finish up :) And we get a happy ending which makes sense and does not feel deus-ex-machina. Okay, there’s one detail at the end that I didn’t believe (where the protagonist accidentally sits on phone and dials her husband who is therefore able to listen in to a crucial hour of the action – yes, that actually happened to a friend of mine, but that doesn’t make it believable). But that isn’t critical to the plot, it just helps round it off a bit.

So in summary, I enjoyed this book, which is a wonderful mix of social commentary, satire, and madcap humour. It feels real and yet still works as an enjoyable diversion. This is what books about parents should be like.