Sunday, June 22, 2008

My Favourite Wife – Tony Parsons

Only published this year, this one. I was lucky to find it in the library: I was only the 3rd person to borrow it.

One of the first things that struck me about this book was how similar it is to the book I just read by the same author, Man and Boy. Major plot elements such as the unfaithful dad, the tough old dad dying of lung cancer; and minor details, such as mouths “fitting” for a kiss and Westerners who are “into the bamboo”. I know I have a tendency to re-use or revisit ideas in what I write, but since none of it is published I can just see that as different drafts where I’ve changed the story, or whatever – I just assumed you couldn’t do this in published books.

But having said all that, I think this is a much better book than Man and Boy. The characters are more believable and the plot feels less contrived. In particular, I like the fact that the main characters really aren't that sympathetic. He's a corporate lawyer, for a start. And the wife is persuaded to move to Shanghai as a quick route to her husband becoming a partner, and a way to keep up the payments on their big house in leafy Hampstead of somewhere.

The wife’s response to finding out her husband is having an affair is much more sympathetic than in Man and Boy. First she wants to walk away, but then she decides they have to stay together to look after their daughter. Later she starts a relationship on the side of her own - this is only hinted at. But in the end, the couple manage to work things through. In the end it makes the point that marriages can survive all sorts of betrayal and that they are worth holding on to.

The man’s relationship with his Chinese woman also feels quite realistic – he knows he’s doing the wrong thing, but feels he’s “in love” with her. And at the same time, he still loves his wife and doesn't want to loser her. Men, eh? You don’t really feel sympathetic for him, but you can see how it happens.

There was another interesting point which is worth commenting on. When the wife announces that she’s not going to leave her husband despite what he’s done, she says it’s because her relationship with her daughter is more important than her relationship with him, and always has been. I think that’s wrong. I was taught that the relationship with each other in a married couple should be even more important than the relationships with children. This point isn’t brought out at all in the story – maybe the author assumes the woman’s view is natural or right or ok – but it raises an interesting point. Faithfulness is not just about sex. Could it be argued that the woman elevating her daughter above her husband is in itself a form of marital betrayal?

But the best thing about this book is its portrayal of modern China, and the way that “the West” relates to it. It’s very sad to think about the origins and ideals of the Communist Party in its early days and how it’s all come to this – a society where everything is for sale, everyone wants a part in the capitalist dream, and workers are cheaper to replace than machines. Like “The Jungle” or somehow even worse. And then the different attitudes of the lawyers – those like Devlin who believe that this is all for the good, those like Mad Mitch or Nancy Deng who are sickened by the corruption and exploitation, and those like Shane who are doing their best to enjoy their privileged position without asking too many ethical questions. As a newcomer, the main character has to decide which of these paths to follow, and the best of the book is about how he does that.

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